Is The Prick of Jesus Christ an After-birther?

Rick "The Prick" Perry sniffs his fingers and says of ex-Flock of Seagulls' front man Donny "The Dickhead" Trump "It's true, his shit don't stink."

Is Rick "The Prick" Perry an After-birther?

By Nia-Malikahanihohoho Henderson

 

When Rick "The Prick" Perry had dinner last month with real estate crime boss and reality TV narcissist Donald "The Dickhead" (aka "Donald The Hump") Trump, they talked cocaine, whores, killing critters, kiddie porn, cigars, liquor, guns for killing critters, guns for making whores do what you want, jobs, the economy and....President Obamarmaman’s birth certificate. Yes, The Dickhead is still after- birth, says Rick "The Prick" Perry in the latest issue of Ass Parade Magazine.

The Prick himself echoes some of the after-birther hallucinatory gibberish, even though in the end he tells Ass Parade that birtherism is a “distractive issue. We tried that tactic, and it failed. People who still try that tactic are wasting time, money, and effort. We should be emphasizing that Iran has defeated us in Iraq, that we lost the War Against Iraq, and glue Obamaramaman to Bush for his having kept the withdrawal time table he inherited when he took office."

In other words, The Prick does not seems content to let this fringe discussion distract him, but he has to suck up to The Dickhead in order to make a play for The Dickhead endorsement and the after-birther vote, such as it is, which may well be as much as 33% of likely Republicker primary voters. Here’s the complete, and nearly incoherent exchange:

PARADE: Mr. Prick, do you believe that President Barack Hussein Obamaramaman was born in the United States?

The Prick of Jesus Christ: I have no reason to think otherwise.

PARADE: That’s not a definitive, “Yes, I believe he”—

The Prick: Well, I don’t have a definitive answer, because he’s never seen my birth certificate.

PARADE: Did he ask to see your birth certificate?

The Prick:  I don't believe he did.

PARADE: You mean you don't know if he asked to see your birth certificate?

The Prick: I have no reason to believe that he asked to see my birth certificate. But I have no reason to believe that he has not, other than the fact that I have no reason to think that he has. I remain an agnostic on that.

PARADE: Ok, well, then, uh, what does Obamaramaman not having seen your birth certificate, or having seen your birth certificate, got to do with you believing, or disbelieving, that he is a natural born citizen of the United States?

The Prick: You tell me, you're the one with all the questions.

PARADE: But you’ve seen his?

The Prick: I don’t know. Have I?

PARADE: You don’t know whether or not you've looked at Obamaramaman's birth certificate, even though it has been released?

The Prick: I don’t know. I had dinner with Donald the Hump the other night.

PARADE: And?

The Prick: That came up while we were tooting some coke and smoking some Cuban cigars, and getting blow jobs from some real fine things hoping to get on The Hump's TV show.

PARADE: And The Hump said?

The Prick: About what?

PARADE: What did The Hump, or the Dickhead, whoever, say about Obaramaman's birth certificate?

PERRY: He doesn’t think it’s real - kind of like his wife's tits. Look good, feel natural, but since he knows his wife's tits are fake, he cannot accept how good they look and feel. And since he doesn't know that Obamaramaman was born in the United States, he cannot say that the certificate is genuine. In fact, he says he knows that Obamaramaman was born in Nigeria, but that if he showed me the proof, he'd have to kill me. But he's never seen the certificate either, not that it would matter. Nor has he ever shown his to Obamaramaman, because he suspects that Obamaramaman has one of those James Bond teensy-weensy cameras in his tie clip - you know, some of that Double-naught stuff - and would take a picture of The Dickhead's birth certificate to forge an identity for a fake Dickhead, who would then go around telling people that Obamaramaman is 100% natural born American mulatto.

PARADE: And you said?

The Prick: I don’t have any idea what I said. I was higher than a kite, getting a blow job from a girl young enough to be my grand-daugher. It doesn’t matter. He’s the fucking President of the fucking United States of America. He’s elected. It’s a distractive issue. We need to find a better lie if we're gonna get rid of that head nigger, I'm telling ya.